So, met my future husband (he doesn’t know that yet) for lunch today again and all I could see were these big brown eyes and flashing white teeth while we chatted. He’s so into his profession, fund raising, living life to the fullest, that I want to suck the energy out of him and take advantage of his compassion.
He sees the glass half full at all times. If I even told you what he did in life, you would laugh. It’s basically the worst possible job you could imagine doing unless you plan to make money, but he finds comfort in helping people through their stress.
I feel like I met the man of my dreams. He’s everything I have ever wanted. Yet, something separates us from being together. Our careers collide, but our motivations are the same. What to make of this other than to laugh about it and ignore what is ultimately going to happen to us…..
So I’ve decided to become more open to challenges, people and temperaments. What I learned is that few are ready to change and most are set in their ways.
I’m the kind of girl that always looks for the next big surprise : I jumped out of a plane (oh yes, and scared to death of heights), had a belly ring, and a tattoo by the age of 30. My mid life crisis happened at 30. The tattoo by the way, was done in Johannesburg, South Africa, and I had little to no choice in the matter …. that will be for another post..
Here I am, nearing 40 with a great career, great pay, and …… no real future I can determine. Did I make the right choice by focusing on my career or should I have settled down in a middle class type housewife atmosphere?
Time will tell on that one. I found someone that could potentially be the ONE. Now, who knows where that will go, but it’s been 10 years since I felt this way. All of a sudden, ideas of children and spending time with the family (i.e. learning how to cook, do laundry and clean up) are foreign to me, but I feel like it’s the next evolution in life.
I’m still going to be that high powered executive but I need to think about where I want to go personally. The company isn’t going to put me to bed, help me when I’m sick and feed my future children. It’s time to make a choice…..
Man…. when I started this blog, all I could do was hope and pray for a better year. I mean…. 13 is a lucky number, right?
Turns out my entire life is colliding right now. Between a possible (huge) promotion at work, and this man who looks like he’s coming out of an old Spice commercial (remember this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE) , I’m thinking someone came and knocked me upside the head.
There’s something twisted about waiting all of these years for at least ONE bloody thing to happen, and now both at the same time? Really? Not that I am complaining, but can I get some time to reel over the first drama before the second comes out of nowhere?
I’m off to play the lottery. This can’t be real. Me, happy? Hah… what a concept
Was one of the best nights of my life. I spent it with this same secretive, discrete, loving and ambitious man. Turns out he isn’t very good at technology, but I am, and I think he found an excuse to get me to ‘help’ him in that department.
Long story short, although we want to take it very slow, we had a wonderful day. Saw his new property (I am in love with the ocean as is he), listened to him recount his dreams, sat by the ocean listening to the waves, and went to eat in a lovely restaurant nearby.
No effort in the conversation, we always had something to say. We ‘connect’ in a way I am not sure I ever have before. He’s so gentle and warm, yet guarded and protective. We ended the night watching the Oscars at his house and hit ‘first base’. I did not initiate it for the record 😉
It’s hard to imagine, but I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him. There’s something that is so special about him, I’m afraid to say what I feel, for fear of losing this.
Time will tell
Could it really be that I *might*, just *might* have met the man of my dreams? I’ve been told I intimidate men, that they are looking for housewives, not go-getters. Those who stuck around were generally the loser type (i.e. no ambition, no motivation, no drive). I’ve always said : I would marry a guy who picks up garbage if he had the motivation to be the head of the garbage department. Regardless of money, but someone I could talk to on a political front, religion, argue about it and understand that we don’t need to change them, but that everyone is entitled to this type of conversation.
Well, I think fate bumped into me a few months ago. I thought I had hit it off with a colleague (having known him for 9 months generally would mean you would know this person pretty well when you have to deal with them hours weekly). Then someone else inquired on my status : I was unsure of what to say.
Long story short, that colleague was an utter disaster. His daughter is pregnant at 16, he lives in a haze of alcohol and cigarettes, his other daughter is a failure. Even through all of that, I tried to be nice, but it was obvious this wasn’t going to be a ‘winner’.
Back to guy number 2. Now, remember, I have no remembrance of meeting him for the first time (the pain I felt that day was unbearable for various reasons) but we ended up meeting last week. And it was love at second sight.
Is that even an expression? He’s not what I pictured I would be with, but he’s responsible, quiet, driven, ambitious, serene and wants kids. My god, where did this gem pop in from?
I don’t want to jinx this…… next blog post to follow